30th Streetlight
by Katzenaugen
Summary: [Clotif One Shot] Right under our 30th Streetlight


**30th Streetlight**

by Katzenaugen

He stared down into the amber liquid. "You left me." he whispered wearily. "It had always been me walking away and now, it was you walking away before I could." He placed his glass back on the table. Cloud ran a shaky hand through his hair.

His eyes fell upon a letter. He did not dare to read it yet. He winced a little at what might be written inside. Drinking up the last bit of this sweet but spicey liquid in his glass he closed his eyes feeling it burn down his throat.

Reluctantly his hand shifted over the table to fetch the letter. Wearily he picked up the knife to his right. He had put it there half an hour ago, just to sit here, lost in thoughts.

He ripped the letter open. The envelope sank to the floor where some dust would curl in the air. Noone was around to clean after all.

"I am sorry." was the first line he read. Screwing up his face in pain he quickly put the letter, written-side down onto the table. Crossing his arms in front of him in a protesting manner he sighed. Part of him was curious what else she had to say and part of him was sure it would only break another part of his heart off if he read it.

Thinking back on the night where he had woken up without her beautiful self lingering in the bar already the pain came flooding back, all too fresh and all too real. He had always tried his best not to break down whenever she was around, after all he had to be a man to a woman, but now, now she wasn't there and he could drop his mask.

Cloud played with the thought of burning the letter. He got to his feet and wearily shuffeled his feet to the threshold to search for some matches.

Just as he lit the first one and held the letter up the way he would not see the hand-written part and remind himself of how he adored the way she wrote. Though the fire went out. Taking that as a sign he should read the letter he thudded back onto the chair he had been sitting on. It was still warm. The room was so dimly lit, he had to move it right in front of his face to read.

"You will never truly know how much strength you gave me in these past years. Don't blame me for running away, for you knowing best why I did it. Actually now, I would have the courage to tell you, now that I do not need to look into your beautiful blue eyes, that for every glance I threw you, for every time I snapped at you, I would plant a kiss on your lips." he went on reading.

At these words his face screwed up again and he reached for the matches. Though none of the matches would burn. Frowning, his head thudded into his arms. The letter had slid out of his hands and fell right so, that he could read again. "It's no use. You are gone." he whispered.

"And when this thing is all over, I'll tell you my reasons. I figure if I wait, it'll give you more of an incentive to keep fighting. You better not die, or else you'll never hear them. I'm laughing now, and I wonder why it feels so right to cry as I do it." he read and crumbeled the letter. Aiming for the wastepaper basket but missing it he fetched his jacket. "Fresh air might do me good."

Aimlessly he strode down the streets. Just for fun he would count the streetlights he passed by. "Remember Tifa, when we went for a walk and you would count the streetlights and after the 30th you told me that this is the place where you would want to kiss someone, just because you saw this beautiful bench there?" he whispered wearily.

Hands in his pockets he felt a few raindrops on his nose that soon formed into more. It was pouring.

Welcoming the cold refreshment on his skin he kept counting the streetlights. "20.."

Soon he was drenched but he woud keep on walking. "Maybe this is the punishment I deserve for whatever I did wrong."

As he reached the 30th streetlight his gaze fell upon a lady dressed in black sitting on the very bench he had thought of earlier. "Knew I would find you here." he chuckeled. Water ran down his face, his hair was messy and his clothes stuck to him like a second skin.

Bloodshot eyes stared back into his. "And there I thought you wouldn''t come today anymore." she sobbed.

Cloud sat besides her and wrapped an arm around you. "I wouldn't have come here either, if it wasn't for a feeling telling me to go."

"And that feeling is?" her head was hanging low and wet bangs hid her face. Brushing these away and caressing her cheek he gently pulled her chin closer so he could look into her eyes. "Most likely the same feeling that brought you here. Desperation."

Pulling her close he drew the letter out of his pocket. "I didn't read it to the end." he said wearily. Throwing it into a puddle right in front of him he added. "For it being unnecessary. I am here to here the reasons."

"The only reason for my foolish behaviour is love." Tifa sobbed.

"Then this foolish behaviour has brought me right here into your arms." he retorted placidly and planted a kiss onto her lips. She blushed furiously. "Remember, you said you'd give me a kiss for everytime you snapped at me and for every glance. I hope you are good at math." he grinned. "Right under our 30th streetlight."

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Random oneshot. I was trying to fall asleep when it popped into my mind. I just had to write it down. Hope you'll like it. :) Please Please review.


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